Happy holidays, dear LGBTs.
It’s that time of year! Gay Christmas. The Pride month of autumn. A grand annual tradition where heterosexuals have permission to dress queer for one night, queer people have permission to be their weirdest and most unvarnished selves, and closeted kids and eggs alike foray into the enticing jungle of gender by way of spandex stockings and eyeshadow.
Them takes Halloween very seriously, and who doesn’t love a timely costume, especially when that costume is an “If You Know You Know” queer inside joke. Each year, our staff is on the front lines of gay meme cycles, queer trend nonsense, and some of the spookiest news events we have no choice but to spin into something we can laugh about. Fear not, we are here to help you get ready for your next costume-required festivity.
2024 gave us so much. It gave us Chappell Roan with a sword. It gave us transgender aliens getting gender affirming operations. It gave us Cole Escola as Mary Todd Lincoln. The internet has no shortage of creative fodder for your costume this year, and you don’t need a big budget, or any budget really, to dress up as something clever and culturally-relevant. From Elisabeth Sparkle to the mold on J.K. Rowling’s walls, here are our favorite (and at times troll-ey) ideas on what you can dress up as in the year of our Lorde 2024. — Fran Tirado
Cole Escola’s Mary Todd Lincoln
Has there ever been a greater contribution to Broadway than Cole Escola’s Mary Todd Lincoln? The actor behind the eponymous lead role of Oh Mary! famously did no research on Abraham Lincoln’s wife before writing a now-canonical play about her. And you don’t need to do any research either! Most critically, you need a wig with some bratty little Shirley Temple coils sticking out to the sides, paired of course with the dress of a Victorian widow. Polish it off with a Peter Pan collar attachment, some heinous blush, and a bottle of booze in your purse. — Fran Tirado
Gays for Kamala on Fire Island
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Need a group costume that captures the imminent horror of the presidential election? Look no further than the instant Brat-ification of the Harris-Walz campaign. Less than 12 hours after Vice President Kamala Harris announced her campaign for the presidency, a gaggle of gays at Fire Island had green “Kamala” crop tops printed a-la Charli XCX’s Brat ready to go. This one is easy, all you need is a dozen slimy green crop tops, a sharpie, and a herd of your friends. If you want to be extra, have someone dress up at the Fire Island ferry. — Quispe López
Childless Cat Lady
Perhaps the biggest unearthed JD Vance comment in a fall chock-full of them, the Republican vice presidential pick once railed against the “childless cat ladies” he believes run the country. The insult gained such notoriety that Taylor Swift used it as her official sign-off in her endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris. It even inspired an affinity group that raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Democratic nominee. This is truly one of the easiest costumes on this list: If you’re a lesbian, statistically speaking you probably don’t need to do much else. Just wear whatever you’d normally wear and carry a photo of your beloved feline. But if you want to get creative — since tiny domesticated tigers aren’t exactly great party animals — then ask a friend, a partner, or an ex to dress as a cat. You can bring the childless part. — Samantha Allen
Ellie the Elephant
In a breakout year for the WNBA, the New York Liberty’s twerking mascot Ellie the Elephant earned her place in the conversation one tail whip at a time. Not only did she take social media by storm this year with over 100,000 followers on Instagram — that’s a third as many as the team itself! — Ellie landed a Time Out New York cover story in addition to receiving celebrity shout-outs from Cardi B and more. Going as Ellie for Halloween is easy: Dress up an off-the-rack elephant costume with some seafoam green Liberty merch. The hard part is practicing your dance moves. — Samantha Allen
Illegal Alien Who Got a Transgender Operation
Who can forget the snippet heard round the world of former President Trump fanning the flames of transphobia and xenophobia during the presidential debate: “Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison!” Instead of trying to justify our existence to a campaign that literally wants to eradicate trans people from public life, why not lean into the tragic comedy of it and serve on Halloween as an alien who got a transgender operation. Paint yourself in a glow-in-the-dark color and serve cunt in a dress like the alien Sabrina Carpenter shared a steamy kiss with at the VMAs. If you want to go even harder and impress all your friends, you can dress up like the xenomorph from the Alien franchise in that classic dress meme. — Quispe López
The Challengers Churro
This one is a technical challenge for DIY enthusiasts, though I spotted at least one Etsy option in my perusal of churro costumes. But the effort is worth it if you really want to embody the most homoerotic, phallic-shaped food in Luca Guadagnino’s Challengers. Some strategic glitter can pass for cinnamon sugar. Plus, if you’re a Halloween maximalist but your friends bring a “too cool for school” vibe to the holiday, you can carry the weight of a group costume here: Create your own cylindrical churro monstrosity out of felt, tell your two lazy friends to just throw on tennis shorts and ballcaps, and you’re (literally) golden. — Samantha Allen
Hypersexual Cicada
Have you heard the good news about hypersexual cicadas? These bugs have been infected with a sexually-transmitted fungus that makes them wildly horny. So horny, in fact, that when male cicadas’ attempts to mate with female ones fail, they then try to attract and mate with male ones. They’ve been called “zombie cicadas” because the fungus essentially takes over their behavior and, instead of killing them, causes them to maximize dispersal of the spores (horniness) to other cicadas. So, for this deranged costume, start with traditional bug stuff — homemade wings and antennae, goggles made look like gigantic eyeballs, etc. Next, work on the zombie part. Don a tattered outfit like any movie zombie would. Paint your face white to denote “recently undead.” And because the hypersexual cicadas emit a loud humming noise to attract mates, a megaphone that you can hum into it at regular intervals. Who knows, maybe there’s a Halloween meet-cute in your future! — Sally Tamarkin
Beyoncé’s Connie Fleming-Inspired Cowgirl
Beyonce’s Renaissance helped define one of the year’s most prescient fashion trends: cowboy couture. But in a sea of basic “cowboy” Halloween costumes, take a page out of Queen B’s book and step up your get up with a reference to the iconic trans It Girl Connie Fleming’s Mugler cowgirl ensemble. While many of the costumes in this list are not very labor intensive to make, we’ll be real with you and say that executing this look will require custom tailoring and an ungodly amount of sequins and stoning. If you are a talented seamstress, or know someone you can commission to pull off the iconic reference, you are guaranteed to win any costume contest. — Fran Tirado
Big-Bulged Pole Vaulter
Oh, big-bulged pole vaulter, who’s big bulge got in the way of his life’s work this year at the 2024 Olympics. What would the games have been without you? A Gaga-Celine Dion concert opening for the Simone Biles show, and nothing more. Thank you, Big-Bulged Pole Vaulter, who’s name I can’t remember. Your bulge may have cost you the gold, but your contributions to the culture will live on in gay guy Halloween costumes everywhere. All you need is a blue spandex singlet that says “FRANCE,” and a bulky sock. If you want to go the extra mile, find a segment of white PVC piping, and a silver medal. — Fran Tirado
Ella Emhoff
Sometimes, a good Halloween costume doesn’t have to be an elaborate one. For those of us who are procrastinating queers but still want to have a fun look, consider dressing up as someone who struck fear into the hearts of conservatives, the “First Daughter of Bushwick.” Ella Emhoff, Vice President Kamala Harris’s stepdaughter, sent conservatives into a tizzy with her outfit at the DNC: a sleeveless Helmut Lang top, nameplate necklace, and the Harris-Walz camo hat. It’s an easy costume that any Bushwick queer likely has in their closet — all you’ll need is a white tank, a collection of tattoos, and a camo hat. — Quispe López
“Very Demure”
You don’t need to be a gorey mess (or, God forbid, wear a green cut crease) to have a good Halloween. In fact, maybe you want to be very demure and very mindful for spooky season. But how does one translate a concept into a costume? If you want to embody cutesy energy, look no further than the creator of the demure trend herself, Jools Lebron. For this one, you’ll need immaculately placed blush, a tasteful cat eyeliner, and a long, honey blonde wig. — Quispe López
Transvestigator
Let’s start with this: Transvestigators are no joke. There is a scary, seedy underbelly of the internet where QAnon-level conspiracy theorists are dedicating entire message boards to “outing” literal cisgender celebrities that they believe to be trans women hiding in plain sight, from Taylor Swift to Melania Trump. All that said, transvestigators are still laughable, and we as trans people get to make fun of that. All you need to do in order to inhabit this costume is 1. Be trans, and 2. Dress up like a detective — magnifying glass, trench goat, deerstalker cap — and voilà! — Fran Tirado
Hey Mamas Lesbian
What up, babygirl? Nah, you’re cute. Haha, you like this drip? These Timbs got you feeling some kind of way? It’s cool. Don’t be shy. You’re looking good though, you know that? I bet you do. Oh, you want to get like me? Haha, you know it takes more than a bandana and a flat brim, right? Being this swag isn’t easy, baby. Get those ball shorts, too — and a jersey. Maybe something old school, like Shaq from the Orlando days. Be cool about it tho, don’t culturally appropriate, bro. Yeah. Oh, and one more thing: Don’t forget those lips, lil’ mama. Haha, yeah, you know what to do. No, no, no — thank me later. — Wren Sanders
Frociaggine
2024 will always be the year that Pope Francis just couldn’t stop using the Italian F-slur: frociaggine. Reports that he used the word, which roughly translates to “faggotry” in English, first surfaced in May. By the time he said it again in early June, Gay Twitter had already launched a million gay, Italian memes. Why not continue the frociaggine fun into spooky season? All you need is a white robe, one of those little round hats, and a cross necklace. Then add your own frociaggine twist: some fishnets and heels, perhaps? Maybe throw on a leather harness. Or if you’re really fun, just cut out the whole back of the robe to reveal a lingerie set underneath. — Sarah Burke
Gay Beetlejuice
If you’re anything like me, you’ve asked yourself plenty of times, “What if Beetlejuice were gay?” Honestly, the B-man’s white-and-black striped suit is so fashionable, it's one tailoring project away from being Thom Browne. Once you have your own very gay interpretation of the look, spray your hair bright green but make sure it’s combed and coiffed. Your Beetlejuice makeup — white face, black around your eyes — should be approached with lashes and contouring. Think more smokey eye than the trickster demon’s shoe polish look. A black manicure and a leather boot completes the look! — Sally Tamarkin
Lesbian Elphaba
As a character, Elphaba has been queer-coded since Wicked was a book you sneakily checked out of the adult section at the library. And now that the legend Cynthia Erivo will be adding her performance to a history of Wicked Witches of the West, now is the time to really lean into the fact that Elphaba is canonical lesbian lore. Once you’ve acquired a witch costume and painted yourself green from head-to-toe, polish off this costume with some cheeky nods to gay girl culture. A caribiner perhaps? Some Docs or a pair of Tevas? An asymmetrical bang? — Fran Tirado
The Brat wall
Brat Summer may be over, but it will live on in our hearts forever. And let’s be honest, few things consumed our collective chronically online queer hive mind than the Brat wall — found in Williamsburg, New York, obviously. This is one of those “it looks bad on purpose” costumes. All you need is a poster board, a steady hand, some slime green paint. Strap that self-made wall to your body and you’re the life of the party, 365. — Ana Osorno
The Mold on JK Rowling’s Walls
Sometimes, the scariest thing is a trans exclusionary “radical feminist.” So why not terrify your friends and dress up like the mold people suggest is growing in J.K. Rowling’s mansion? Trans-supporting X users had a field day after pointing out what looks like black mold in a photo from the inside of her home in August, around the time she was attacking Olympic gold medalist Imane Khelif. The Harry Potter author launched a transvestigation campaign against Khelif, a cis woman, steeped in gender policing rooted in scientific racism, which the boxer is now suing Rowling for. In order to dress like the mold that is (allegedly!!!!) rotting J.K. Rowling’s brain, all you need is a yellow outfit and some black paint to splatter all over it. — Quispe Lopez
Alan Cumming in Traitors
2024 was a big year for people who have been fans of bisexual icon Alan Cumming since the epic one-two punch that was GoldenEye and Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion — and by that I mean it was a big year for me, personally. As the now Emmy-winning host of the U.S. edition of The Traitors, Cumming has established himself as a style icon, playing an exaggerated lord of a Scottish manor complete with traditional bonnets, kilts, and more Tartan print than the human eye was ever meant to behold at once. This is one of those real “more is more” costumes. Pair a plaid blazer with a plaid skirt. Wear a scarf and an accessory. Bonus points if you can procure your own equivalent to Alan’s rescue dog Lala. — Samantha Allen
Chappell Roan With a Sword
Whether your personal costume inspo comes from a medieval gender outlaw or a 21st century gay pop girlie channeling a medieval gender outlaw, there’s no time like Halloween 2024 to do medieval hot girl drag. And because Roan showed off at least three Joan-of-Arc-but-make-it-glamour looks at the VMAs, you have lots of choices. You can make your own plate armor with poster board and silver spray paint if you like a blocky, geometric look. If you want something more drapey, and you have cash to throw at your costume, buying fake chainmail is easy enough. But you can skip the armor altogether and base your look on Roan’s red carpet outfit, which was sort of “Joan of Arc’s night.” In that case, as long as you have a flowing, sheer wardrobe moment, a half-up, half-down hairdo, and a chunky cross around your neck, you’re nailing it. Make a fake sword out of cardboard (or, if your DIY skills allow, wood) and you’re hot to go! — Sally Tamarkin
JD Vance’s Trans Friend
Donald Trump’s VP vetting team certainly knew JD Vance had called him “America’s Hitler” but they probably weren’t counting on him having had a transgender bestie in law school who kept all the receipts, including a message where the now-MAGA Ohio senator said he hates cops. Sofia Nelson has proved to be something of a style icon already, appearing in press coverage and MSNBC interviews in sharp suits with ties that provide just a hint of whimsy. You can either go literal with this costume, emulating Nelson’s effortless class and producing a fake text chain with your ex-pal “James David” when anyone asks who you are. Or you can go figurative, carrying around the plate of “home-baked treats” your former friend gave you before his far-right makeover. — Samantha Allen
Abraham Lincoln
We weren’t taught it in school, but we all kinda knew that Abraham Lincoln was a little gay, right? Well if we didn’t before, we do now. Between Oh Mary! and the documentary Lover of Men — which details the 16th president’s, well, love of men — 2024 was the year of gay Abe. To embody this newly minted queer icon, throw on the typical long coat, bowtie, and signature beard — but make it slay, somehow. Lose the pants, beat your face, and throw on some heels? Express yourself! — Sarah Burke
Elisabeth Sparkle
The Substance may be the most polarizing movie of the year, but regardless of how you feel about it, you can’t deny that it is rich with Halloween costume potential. There are a number of ways you could go about this — the easiest is probably Elisabeth Sparkle’s getup for when she goes to pick up her Substance refills. Stripped down to its essentials, all you need is the most vibrant yellow oversized trench coat you can find and a big pair of cunty sunglasses to hide the existential terror in your eyes. You could also add a pair of burgundy leather gloves if you’re trying to give Elisabeth at the point of no return. Or you could go full out and transform yourself into an eldritch abomination of flesh — but if that’s not within your reach, you could also just wear a paper cutout mask of Demi Moore’s face and a blue tulle dress. — James Factora
Me Espresso
As much fun as ketamine enthusiasts had with Brat summer, I do feel like we LGBTQ+ people sometimes need to zoom out and take a bird’s-eye view of mass culture: Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso” was undeniably the song of 2024, a return of whimsical mindless pop music in the aughties tradition. The grammatically baffling line “that’s that me espresso” lent the track a certain je ne sais quoi that undeniably contributed to its airplay dominance. You could throw on a teal dress and a headband and go as the music video look, but I’d also encourage you to consider going as “me espresso” itself, which as far as I understand is your rawest, most sexually magnetic version of yourself. Wear whatever makes you feel most confident and announce that you’re that you espresso when you walk into the party. No further explanation required. — Samantha Allen
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