Before Euphoria, back in 2016, Hunter Schafer wrote about her experiences advocating for herself in Teen Vogue: “Every time I use a public bathroom, I have to make a choice: Do I break the law, or do I disregard my comfort and face the risk of harassment and violence?” Seven years later, we’re witnessing a legislative onslaught on not just the bathroom front but countless other aspects of where the law meets trans life.
Some states are even considering criminalizing public bathroom usage for trans folks. These bills don’t just prevent trans youth from doing a basic human deed; they actively send the message that trans people don’t belong in public spaces. This can lead to violent consequences against trans people, like the death of Alexa Negrón Luciano, a trans woman who was murdered for using a women’s restroom in Puerto Rico.
But this enduring fight means if you’re getting involved in activism around them — whether that’s in your school, your district, your university — there’s plenty of others who have been through what you’re just beginning. Very rarely, if ever, do fundamental changes come from a single individual, so find the folks at your school, or in your district who share your beliefs, or are already working toward your goals.
Them and Teen Vogue spoke to five organizers from across the country about what they’ve learned, and what you need to know. These replies have been condensed and lightly edited for clarity.
Just figuring out where to begin? Find your people first.
Riley Weis (they/them), 17, New Hampshire
“I personally got involved because I have a personal connection to the trans person that was mentioned at the original school board meeting. I went to the next board meeting, and spoke about how trans kids and trans people aren't trying to infringe on anyone's privacy or attack people. [There was a] parent [who] had been saying that the trans [student] was harassing other people in the bathroom.
Since we're only allowed to speak one or two times at school board meetings, that was the last time I spoke that night. Fast forward a few months later, the topic's been brought up again. This time, we tried to organize a bigger rally outside of the school, and there, again, I spoke about how we're just students going to school, trying to use the bathroom and use the locker rooms whenever we need to.
It's been an amazing experience for me to see the changes that are happening. This isn't the first time that I've argued with the school board, but it is definitely one of the most important ones. Just to see that my efforts and my friends’ efforts have done so much good, it's such an amazing feeling, and I hope that everyone is able to experience that and experience being able to feel safe in their schools.”
The fight for policies like trans-inclusive bathrooms can often extend beyond a student activist’s academic career. Make sure to leave a paper record and legacy for organizers who may follow in your footsteps after graduation.
E Dils (they/them), 25, Louisiana
“One of the things that I learned from doing student government and student organizing was that people had been working for years on many of the issues we were trying to change.
One of the big issues was just having staying power, but also having the access to institutional knowledge. Things like: Is this administrator still in place? Are they gonna have the same response as 2 years ago? Should we try a different strategy? It was important to me that while I was working on it, I was telling as many people as I could about it and getting a couple of younger students more involved to try to have somebody to pass it on to after I left the institution.”
… even if they think they’re well-intentioned.
Riley, New Hampshire
“To borrow the words of one of my friends – we gave a presentation yesterday – we're 10 times as stressed as you are using the bathroom. It's so stressful because we're so worried that someone might be able to tell or that we're going to get harassed, and so we're going to be in and out. That's all that we're doing. We're just gonna go in and we're going to do our business and we're going to leave.
And also, half the time the kids don't care. The amount of like cis friends that I have, that aren't even in the community, they're not any aspect of queer, they don't care. They very much have a similar opinion of, we're just trying to use the bathroom and get back to class, because we'll be penalized if we don't get back in time.
Something that a parent brought up was, well, why don't we just give them their own bathrooms? But as much as that seems like a good idea, schools often don't have the funding for that; we barely have the funding for repairs. It also just promotes more trans-exclusionary actions that the school can take, because if the school did say okay, we'll just give them their own bathrooms, well, then, what about parents arguing that lesbian or bi girls can't be in the girls locker room? Or that gay boys or bi boys can't be in the boys locker room? It really only spirals from there.
Because it's not it's not about protecting the kids at that point. It's about pushing your agenda on the school and other people, because you don't agree that those kids should be allowed to use the bathroom where they're comfortable. Even people that don't have big opinions on it and are just like, well just give the trans kids their own bathroom, or just use the bathroom of your assigned sex, don't realize that they're helping push along that agenda. They may just be, like, those kids should be able to do whatever, use whatever bathroom, but to avoid conflict, they will agree with one side or the other. And that definitely isn't helpful at all.”
As an activist, you’re going to run into some obstacles and a good deal of naysayers. So one of the most important aspects of doing advocacy around bathrooms bills at schools is knowing how to approach rejection.
Natasha (she/her), 18, Virginia
“Even if someone says ‘no’ to you, that doesn’t mean the fight ends there. We students have more power than we sometimes think we do. Say for example you approach an administrator and it doesn’t go very well; there are other people to whom you can direct your advocacy. You can reach out to school boards. You can reach out to local politicians. While a ‘no’ might feel upsetting at first, all it means is redirection.”
For younger students just coming to terms with themselves, it’s a burden to expect them to get involved while they’re just trying to go to school. But the work is rewarding in its own way.
Riley, New Hampshire
“Even if someone's watching the school board meeting but doesn't go up and speak, I've had parents and teachers and other community members come up to me and tell me how proud they are that I'm speaking up about this and how excited they were to see a student being involved. And when I went up and spoke at the statehouse, that was another very common thing — there's a kid here who's experiencing these things that is speaking out about them. If they have the opportunity and then if it is safe for them to, kids and students should definitely speak out about this, because it really does show how much this matters.
I feel like a lot of adults, and especially adults that don't have kids, don't understand what the climate is in school at the moment. But [speaking out] definitely does so much work.”
It can be easy to feel isolated doing this work, especially as a trans young person. That’s why surrounding yourself with other LGBTQ+ people who can relate is crucial.
E, Louisiana
“When I first got involved with the trans bathroom work my freshman year, I totally thought I was just ‘number one ally.’ I didn't come to fully understand myself as trans until about halfway through college. I would say the bathroom organizing I did through student government did kind of propel me to understanding myself. It connected me not just to other queer or trans students, but to several trans faculty. The community piece is really important.
You're gonna have all kinds of struggles as a trans person in this world but you're also gonna have all types of wonderful and beautiful experiences that you couldn't have if you weren't trans — if you're in community with other trans people. My advice is, anytime you have the opportunity to talk to another trans kid, do it. Even if you're not best friends with that person, to be able to just share experiences is so important, even if that means on the internet. Just talk to people in whatever ways that are accessible to you.”
It can be really disheartening to organize for years only to see a backsliding of LGBTQ+ rights at large. That’s why it’s important to keep in mind that legislative progress is not the only measure of your success.
Aaryan Rawal (he/they), 18, Virginia
“When we first started the Pride Liberation Project, the way we originally envisioned it is that we would come out with a toolkit of policy priorities that could make a tangible difference in a student's life. If we were to listen to what the system told us on how you get policy changed, then we would be able to see those policies implemented. That didn't happen, obviously. Instead, we've actually seen this awful backsliding of queer rights in Virginia.
Unfortunately, change is not linear and there is no singular path to actually achieve that change. But we can't necessarily measure our success, as queer young people, on policy outcomes. Even if we do everything right and the policy doesn't go our way, [our work] also allows us to find empowerment in our community because we start valuing our community over systems. It also allows us to recognize that this work is not a sprint, but it's really a marathon and that it's gonna take years and years to actually build the empowering future for queer youth that we all want to see.
My big advice is just to remember that you can do everything right. You can be doing wonderful work and it might not necessarily work out. That doesn't mean that it wasn't impactful.”
Get the best of what’s queer. Sign up for Them’s weekly newsletter here.
