Welcome to Body Week 2022. This year, Them’s annual exploration of queer and trans embodiment comes at a time of crisis, as state-led attempts to restrict our bodily autonomy seem to multiply by the day. And yet, in every nook and cranny of this country, we persist. In the stories that form this special series, we sought to document not only the look of this persistence, but also its sensation: How does it feel to be LGBTQ+ and have a body today? Read more from the series here.
All kinds of people get tattoos. But queer people? We love them. It makes sense: Tattoos are all about customizing your body, expressing what makes you unique, feeling the most you in your skin. Queer people basically invented all of those things. But what’s also very queer is perpetual self-growth, trying new things, and being okay with changing your mind. That means we sometimes get tattoos that seem like a good idea at first, but that we soon come to regret. Like the two times that Them’s editor-in-chief got shitty “matching” tattoos with people who decided halfway through that they didn’t want the tattoo anymore. (Tip: Never go first.)
The good news, though, is that while our worst tattoos are permanent, our existence on this earth is not. And often, even the decisions that we regret are what got us to where we are today. At a time when Americans’ right to bodily autonomy is under attack, it's important to celebrate that our bodies are all our own and that we can do whatever the hell we want to them. And even when we hate it later, we can always laugh about it together.
In that spirit, we asked Them readers to share their worst tattoos and the stories behind them. Here are five of those submissions:
"Ok, so I’ve come a LONG way since this tattoo. Now I have pristine portraits and coverups on my arms that are all based on an actual style.
This, however, was my FIRST TATTOO. I was 14 years old, and hung out with random people from high school. One dude that never went to school and smoked weed all day hit me up to smoke and I said yes. That turned into me going with him to his friend's BARBER SHOP, where he sat in a chair and let some guy practice tattooing on him. After sitting there for a while, I decided I was down to get one (since it was free). Why did I get my first tattoo in the most painful area ever? Idk. But I did, and it was the worst mistake ever! The guy did something wrong with setting up the machine or maybe used the wrong gauge of needles, but we sat there for HOURS while he went over the same spot on my ribs over and OVER again. After a few hours I told him to stop and the tattoo ended up looking like this. Happy pride, I guess lmfao. 10 years and dozens of hours at tattoo shops later, I still haven’t gotten it covered up." — G.P.
“My ‘the lovers’ tattoo (like the tarot card). My ex partner and I were drunk one night and decided to give ourself matching tattoos… but they changed theirs halfway through 🤪” — L.W.
“I got matching blue stars with someone on our inner wrists. They look terrible. Smeary and bleeding color, even after having them outlined again. Apparently, the artist had found their housemate dead and came to work like nothing had happened (in shock) and forgot how to tattoo properly. I found this out weeks after the tattoos. The other person later covered their stars up to forget about me, and since got another blue wrist star to apologize.” — K. B.
"I’ve always loved elephants. How emphatic but also quirky they act makes me smile. I’ve never seen them in their natural habitat though, like most people. So 2.5 years ago, I was with my bestie and I decided to get an elephant tattooed by her. Her then-partner was a solid painter, so he drew the design, which turned out shit for an artist tbh. I wasn’t feeling comfortable because I had to show off my arms and upper body to let him draw it straight on my skin. And he even mentioned a little black hair growing out of my shoulder right above the place where the elephant was going to be. My best friend also failed the tattooing by filling out the eyes by accident, and then the tattoo healed badly, so I didn’t like it until recently.
I‘m much more content with how I appear and don’t take the tattoo too seriously anymore.
The shitty artist of the tattoo doesn't need to take up so much space in my life and the poor elephant is just color under my skin. Yolo :)" — Fritz
“I got this tattoo in November of 2018. At the time, I was struggling with my mental health and got a tattoo of this art by @innerdecay to represent how my heart felt. I don’t hate the design itself but it definitely doesn’t represent how I feel inside anymore. It was shortly after getting this tattoo that I started seriously questioning my gender identity. Since then, I have done a lot of healing and am more confident than I’ve ever been.” — A.J.
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