Sapphic TikTok is filled with terms and identities that may sound unfamiliar to folks who have just started along their queer journey — or even to veteran members of lesbian spaces who may not be up on the latest lingo. Girly pop mascs? Futches? What could it all possibly mean?
Even terms that have decades of history behind them, like butch, stud, and femme, often lose meaning and context when they’re regurgitated and reassembled online over-and-over again. Sometimes, it can feel like we’re playing a long game of dyke internet telephone, further from the original definitions of these terms each time they’re reinterpreted online. And that can be a shame, because these terms exist in the context! But alas, language is going to do what language does and shift over time, which means we’ll always be playing catch-up.
As long as online spaces have existed, lesbians have been using the internet to find each other, share information, and connect with like-minded sapphics. From lesbian internet chatrooms on sites like AOL in the 1990s and early aughts to the advent of lesbian YouTubers in the 2010s to Tumblr’s famous Lesbian Masterdoc, the internet has in many ways become enmeshed with how we build queer community.
Over that time, the community has developed something of an informal dictionary of sapphic-specific terms that speak to an array of experiences held by people in historically lesbian communities. The evolution of old terms and development of new language is part of the queer tradition of documenting our nuanced life experiences, which makes understanding what they mean — and knowing their actual history — all the more important.
Lucky for you, we’ve been chronically online so you don’t have to be, compiling a crash course list of terms you may see flitting across your Instagram Discover and TikTok For You pages. This is far from a comprehensive collection of words — that’s a piece for another day! — but it will get you started on your journey to decode the sapphic internet.
Oldies but goodies
In order to understand some of the newer phrases created online, we have to start with the basics — the terms that walked so that “girly pop masc” could run, so to speak. These are just a few of the terms forged in the 1900s, primarily through in-person lesbian working-class bar culture.
- Butch: Working class lesbians adopted the term “butch” — a derivative of “butcher” usually reserved to describe tough kids — in the 1940s. It refers to masculine-of-center (MOC) lesbians and transmasc people who self-identify as butch. Throughout the 20th century, butches could often be identified through their suits, swagger, and queering of heteronormative masculinity. While the term has existed for decades, it was popularized to a wider audience in the 1990s, after the release of Leslie Feinberg’s seminal novel Stone Butch Blues.
- Stud: “Stud” is a racially specific term used by some Black masculine lesbians to describe their experiences. While it’s hard to say for certain when the term was popularized, a 1965 study by Civil Rights activist and sociology professor Ethel Sawyer found that many members of Black lesbian communities in the Midwest referred to themselves as studs. Because it is a racially specific term, non-Black MOC lesbians are not considered studs and using the term incorrectly is culturally appropriative.
- Fish: Within the same 1965 survey, Sawyer found that the feminine-of-center (FOC) Black lesbians living in the same Midwestern communities as studs referred to themselves as fish. Fish lesbians often queered feminine aesthetics, warping heteronormative and cisnormative expectations of gender to play with them in more imaginative ways. Like “stud,” “fish” is a racially specific term used to refer to femme Black lesbians, so non-Black lesbians should not use it.
- Femme: Similar to “butch,” the term “femme” was popularized in working-class lesbian communities in the 1940s. It referred to FOC lesbians who played with their femininity in the context of their queerness. Butch-femme relationships often played a crucial role in defining and understanding both identities.
Newer terms
Now that we’re established the basic terms you’ll need to understand as building blocks, we can dive into the terms that came about in the 21st century. Much of the language below was first used on AOL chat rooms in the 2000s, on YouTube in the 2010s, or even in TikToks of very recent vintage. Keep in mind, this isn’t a definitive list, but it should help you get your bearings on the FYP.
- Stem: “Stem” refers to a Black sapphic person who falls somewhere in between a stud and a femme, embodying both masc and femme attributes. Think full-face of makeup with a sports jersey and baggy shorts. Like “stud” and “fish,” “stem” is a racially specific term that does not describe non-Black sapphics.
- Futch: Just like “stem,” “futch” is an amalgamation of two terms: femme and butch. It refers to a lesbian who falls somewhere between the two on the spectrum of gender presentation. Today, they can often be identified by their long hair, possibly a hat, baggy clothes, and maybe makeup — basically what people meant when they were problematically lamenting about the alleged “masc shortage.”
- U-Hauling: This one is pretty self-explanatory. U-Hauling with a boo is a tale — or mistake — as old as time. It refers to sapphics who, in the heat of passion, decide to move in together after a relatively short period of time, hence the U-Haul. While “too fast” can be subjective, U-Hauling lesbians may decide to get together after only a month, a week, or even just the first date.
- Lipstick Lesbian: This one is a little vintage but still counts as modern because it definitely came into more widespread use in the early aughts. “Lipstick lesbians” are femme lesbians who really lean into high femmeness. Lipstick (hence the phrase), gaudy jewelry, and acrylics tend to define the look.
- Hey Mamas Lesbians: We know you hate it when we talk about them, but if we’re going to discuss lesbians on the internet, we have to address the poorly fitted snapback in the room: hey mamas lesbians. For those of you who have missed our previous reporting on the matter, let’s get into it. The term “hey mamas” lesbians was coined sometime in 2020 after a group of masc lesbians made a cringe thirst trap video saying “hey mamas.” The term has since been used to criticize corny, white lesbians who are often trying to cosplay as studs or stems while failing miserably.
- Girly Pop Masc: Yet another term that emerged from sapphic TikTok, “girly pop masc” is pretty self-explanatory once we break it down. It refers to masc lesbians who engage in “girly pop” behavior, which can range from throwing ass in the club, talking with a twink lilt and limp wrist, or being into things like reality TV and gossip. Truly, though, it’s just a silly goofy internet term that is incredibly subjective.
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