Trixie Mattel, welcome back to hell the internet! The drag queen announced in June that she would be taking an extended break, citing burnout and health issues. We’ve often wondered how on earth she does it all, between her reality TV show, her cosmetics brand, her music career, her Netflix YouTube series, and, y’know, the whole international drag superstar thing. (Even just typing that exhausted me.) We’re super glad that she was able to recognize and respect her own limits.
And now, Mattel has finally returned. On Thursday night, she posted to X, “I’ve been off the internet for about four months. Please show me memes and important internet items so I can react on YouTube.” To which we say: we gotchu. Though I don’t have the word count to explain Moo Deng and why her stardom is controversially linked somehow to Chappell Roan, here’s everything else that happened. Below, in chronological order, please enjoy some of the funniest/dumbest things that were gay and online in the past four months.
The Pope using homophobic slurs
Pope Francis expressed concerns about “frociaggine,” the Italian equivalent of “faggotry” not just once, but twice. Our only follow question: Is there anything gayer than that swathing robe and those little shoes?.
Polyamorous Sims
When we spoke in May, shortly before your hiatus, you expressed a lifelong love for The Sims. I am thrilled to report that in July, The Sims dropped an expansion pack that lets players engage in relationships with multiple people. Now you can live out the toxic queer throuple dynamics of your dreams/nightmares with zero real-life repercussions.
Kamala is Brat
You may have already heard of a little album called Brat. The slime green of the album’s cover was completely inescapable this summer, to the extent that it played a part in this year’s election. Charli XCX tweeted “Kamala IS brat,” sparking the instant bratification of Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign. And yes, these words make me wish I had never learned to read.
Tim Walz
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The jokes were truly nonstop for a good 48 hours after the Minnesota governor was announced as Kamala Harris’ running mate. My personal favorite was this edit of Pete Buttigieg, who was on the longlist of Harris’ vice presidential picks, with the classic “gay going through it” bleach job — no further explanation needed.
Lady Gaga referencing your swag
In a video for her somewhat inexplicable collab with Bruno Mars, “Die With a Smile,” many people pointed out that Gaga bore a slight resemblance to you. With her ’70s big hair, overlined lips, and graphic eyeliner, we can see the similarities — and so did Mother Monster herself, calling her Trixie cosplay “mindful.”
George Santos
Congress’ first stunt queen finally pled guilty to the crimes that he very obviously committed, including wire fraud, identity theft, and spending campaign funds on Sephora and Hermès. I have never said this before, but I personally can’t wait for the inevitable Ryan Murphy TV adaptation.
The Grindr Grunt
For some reason, Grindr changed its already-conspicuous notification sound to an even more conspicuous grunting noise in honor of the U.S. Open. Ah, Challengers and its consequences.
“Transgender operations on illegal aliens”
The one and only time that trans people were mentioned during the one and only presidential debate was when Donald Trump claimed that Kamala Harris wants to do “transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.” Though there is some nuance to this media swirl, people immediately started making their little memes about that comment.
Right-winger exposed for gay porn past
A new player in our journalistic stronghold emerged when Str8UpGayPorn broke the story that right-wing activist Corey DeAngelis, who has made anti-LGBTQ+ comments in the past, previously appeared in gay porn in 2014. Last week DeAngelis finally admitted to his previous stardom in the porn industry such as in the seminal (pun intended) film “Jerk-Off Race.”
Straight men doing “Locktober”
Last but certainly not least, and perhaps my personal favorite moment on this list, straight men started posting about “Locktober” at the beginning of this month. Sadly, they were not talking about wearing chastity cages for 31 days and nights, but rather the concept of “locking in” to fitness and personal goals. To which I say: ¿por qué no los dos?
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