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Squirting may be one of the most discussed sex acts on the internet, but actually learning how to squirt is harder than it seems.
For those who are unfamiliar, squirting refers to the clear liquid that people with vulvas sometimes release when they orgasm. Because of its overrepresentation (and often misrepresentation) in pornography, people often sensationalize the act and argue over it in equal measure. There’s endless debate about squirting, including discourse on whether it actually even happens. But let it be known, people do squirt, and with enough patience, practice, and effort, many people with different types of bodies can harness their potential to squirt.
This topic is vastly understudied despite the popularity of squirting porn, and the number of people who want to learn how to squirt themselves (or how to make their partners squirt). This lack of information has led to the notion that only cisgender women can squirt. You might have come here asking “how to make a woman squirt,” but it’s important to note that it’s theoretically possible for people of all genders and body types to squirt.
If you’re wondering how to squirt, how to make someone else squirt, or what the term squirting actually means, this article is for you. Queer sex educators and pleasure activists spoke with Them to help you learn more about this elusive (and pleasurable) sexual experience. Read on to learn everything you need to know about squirting.
What is squirting?
Squirting often refers to the involuntary release of clear fluid through the urethra during sex before, during, or after an orgasm. The amount and force of this liquid release varies widely, from under 10 milliliters to over 100. “Squirting” isn’t a medical term, however, and it’s difficult to define specifically because it’s experienced in a multitude of ways.
There hasn’t been a lot of research into squirting, but recent studies suggest that, during a squirting orgasm, fluid is released from the paraurethral glands and the bladder empties itself during a squirting orgasm. One oft-cited study — albeit with only seven participants — claimed that squirting is “essentially the involuntary emission of urine during sexual activity.” This does not, however, mean that it's “the same as urine,” Cecilia Villero, a queer pleasure educator known as Goddess Cecilia, tells Them. “Urine is composed of urea, toxins, uric acid, creatinine, and water. As squirting fluid comes out of the bladder, it makes sense that some of the same compounds are found in the fluid. Squirting fluid is much more diluted, mostly water, and contains similar fluid that’s released from the paraurethral glands.”
So, as far as we understand it today, squirting is the release of diluted fluid from the bladder mixed with fluid released from the paraurethral glands, also known as Skene’s glands. This is different from ejaculation, which pleasure educator Carly S says is a term “used to describe the release of another kind of fluid that is often white and milky and usually includes prostate-specific antigens (PSAs) and other compounds found in semen.”
Who can squirt?
Anybody with a vulva is theoretically capable of squirting this kind of fluid. While there is even less information about how hormone replacement therapy (HRT) affects squirting, HRT tends to impact arousal, lubrication, and genital sensation, so it’s possible that it would affect squirting, too. For some people, squirting in this way can be gender-affirming, as squirting is a sensation like external ejaculation.
Some people with penises and prostates refer to orgasms without semen as squirting, typically when they aren’t dry or retrograde ejaculations. While those may be a sign of medical issues like infertility, external ejaculations without semen are more common for people on estrogen. Carly points out that the prostate and G-Spot are roughly equivalent, and that your body’s response to stimulus can change due to hormones.
“In Tantric practices, orgasming without ejaculation is often highlighted as a practice,” Villero says. “Prostate orgasms have been reported to feel different and more intense.”
The short answer is no. Beyond “female ejaculation” being a weird and convoluting term, it does not actually refer to squirting or squirt, contrary to popular belief. Like we said before, squirt is a liquid made up of diluted fluid from the bladder — not to be confused with urine. Ejaculate is creamier in consistency, white, and made up of the same components found in semen. You’ll be able to tell the difference between them by their color and consistency. Remember, ejaculate is white and thick while squirt is transparent and liquid.
How do I squirt?
If you’re wondering “how can I squirt,” the primary answer is to know your body well. Everybody experiences sensations in a different way. To squirt, you need to know what you like during sex and what brings you pleasure. Different types of stimulation, whether internal or external, the amount of pressure you prefer, and all your other preferences can contribute to making yourself squirt during orgasm.
A good way to start is by figuring out what sensations feel best to you on your own. Mindful masturbation can allow you to go at your own pace, troubleshoot technique, and best of all, let go of any self-consciousness that might be holding you back from reaching your true squirting potential. There’s no guarantee that any one specific move will make you squirt, as it can be different or random for many people, but if you figure out the motion of your ocean that best triggers your tidal wave, then you can tell potential hookups. You can start out by directing them how to finger you and what external or internal stimulation has worked for you in the past to make yourself successfully squirt.
It is important to note, however, that while you can change certain factors that help contribute to squirting, the act itself is fairly involuntary.
So take the pressure off yourself. “Remind yourself that while you want to learn how to squirt, squirting isn’t an indicator of how strong your orgasms are, how much you’re feeling pleasure, or whether you’re doing sex ‘right,’” Villero says. “Take the pressure off the action. Take the pressure off the orgasm. Focusing so much on the ‘end goal’ can add even the slightest amount of stress that might prevent you from reaching orgasm or from feeling pleasure at all.”
Once you’re comfortable, you can try out some sex toys. Carly recommends the nJoy Pure Wand for direct G-spot stimulation and powerful wand vibrators for external stimulation, but you’ll have to experiment to figure out what you personally prefer.
Another possible way to increase the likelihood of squirting is to hydrate. Squirting releases water from your bladder, so you need to have enough water in your body to facilitate it. Just remember not to overdo it, as it’s possible to drink too much water. Eating plenty of fresh fruit also helps with hydration. Listen to your body and don’t push yourself. There aren’t any shortcuts to squirting, and the action is involuntary, so it’s really just up to knowing what feels good for you.
How to make someone squirt?
Communicate with your partner. Your partner may be the only person who knows what can make them achieve pleasure, so listen to them, and work together. If your partner wants to learn how to squirt but doesn’t know what works for them yet, encourage them to figure out what they like and what works for them through masturbation. If it’s something you are both interested in, work together to make it happen.
“Once you have a better understanding of how to best pleasure yourself it’ll be easier to communicate what works to your partner,” Carly says. “And then the best way is to communicate and check in with your partner and see what they need!”
Don’t press your partner. Stress and preconceived expectations will only make sex less fun and less pleasurable.
“Remember that the goal should be the pleasure felt, not whether or not they squirted or even orgasmed if that's not high on their priority list,” Villero says. As always in relationships, the number one thing is mutual communication.
How can I tell if I squirted?
Sometimes, cumming really intensely and being really wet with ejaculate after the fact can be confused with squirting. Like we’ve established, there’s a difference between squirting and ejaculating, so how can one tell the difference in the heat of the moment? Researchers found that 80% of people who squirt say they experience a deeper kind of sexual pleasure or orgasm when they squirt. Anecdotally, many people say they feel like they need to pee right before they squirt. (Remember, while squirt is not straight up urine, it does come from the bladder, so the connection isn’t surprising.) Others say squirting feels like an extreme release of pressure and pleasure, unique from other kinds of orgasms they’ve experienced. While everyone is different and there isn’t a single way to experience squirting, if you wonder if you’ve squirted, you likely haven’t squirted.
Why can’t I squirt?
First things first, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to squirt. The most important thing is to feel good about your body and know how to pleasure yourself. Squirting is an involuntary reaction and isn’t an indicator of how strong an orgasm is, or how good the sex is. Remember to make yourself comfortable, focus on the sensations you’re experiencing, and keep yourself hydrated. The pelvic floor muscles are also an important part of orgasming, ejaculation, and squirting. A weak pelvic floor can prevent squirting and orgasm, and can even lead to incontinence. If you’re comparing yourself to porn performers, remember that they tend to have a great working knowledge of their body, and therefore pelvic floors. Many porn performers are able to use that knowledge to accentuate it. That’s their job!
If you have concerns about your pelvic floor muscles, “look into finding a pelvic floor physical therapist,” Villero says. “I would personally not recommend attempting ‘Kegel exercises’ or pelvic floor exercises without proper direction. Everyone's pelvic floor needs are different, and often those muscles are tighter than they should be.”
If you’re having trouble squirting, remember to take pressure off yourself, relax, hydrate, and enjoy yourself. Pay attention to the sensations you’re feeling, and don’t overthink it! In Carly’s words, “patience, practice, and enjoyment are all you need.”
Are there toys to help me squirt?
We already mentioned a few toys that people say help with squirting, but the best advice is to look for toys that feel best for you. Some people like to put direct pressure on the G-Spot/urethral sponge, while it can be uncomfortable for others. But stimulating the G-Spot isn’t the only way to achieve a squirting orgasm.
If you like strong external vibrating toys, use them, or if you want a blended experience, try out a rabbit-style vibrator with a curved internal arm for G-Spot stimulation and an external attachment for clitoral stimulation. Use the toys that bring you the most pleasure, and don’t worry about if they’re the “right” ones for squirting, because it’s going to be different for everyone. A lot of times, the trial and error of finding the right toy is more about the fun and sexy journey rather than the destination. So take the pressure off of yourself and don’t rush the magic — just let it happen at its own pace.
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