How Can You Best Lez Out This July? The Creator of “Lez Out July” Has Tips

Consider this your official welcome to Lez Out July.

If you’re anything like me — a chronically online lesbian whose love language is sending and receiving tweets — then you probably already know what that phrase means. But if not, allow me to fill you in: It all started on July 5 with a viral X post from the user @h0mmelette, proclaiming that July is, in fact, all about lezzing out. (I first saw the tweet when a fellow extremely online lesbian — whom I of course met through a queer wine club — sent it to me.)

The spirit of the post resonated widely. While, yes, Pride Month may technically be over, that doesn’t mean we need to stop having fun. Soon the sapphic Twitter-verse had officially adopted the phrase “Lez Out July” — the power of the internet! — as a way to encourage lesbians to continue their celebrations all month long.

I definitely wanted to participate in “Lez Out July” the second I saw those three words in a row. But how exactly does one “lez out”? And what does that mean for my Brat Summer? These were all the questions that swirled as I brainstormed ideas about how best to practice lezzing out.

So, to answer my urgent queries, I turned to none other than @h0mmelette, who turned out to be a lovely lesbian named Jules. Over FaceTime, she told me what “Lez Out July” really means, where the phrase came from, and why it’s actually more earnest than it may seem.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

My name is Jules.

Hi, Jules.

I am a lesbian, transgender lesbian, nonbinary transgender woman, which is a lot of things, but that is the energy that I’m leaning into and I find rewarding. I don’t know, I have some internet presence and apparently enough…

… for virality.

But I don’t take it too seriously. I’m also semi-anonymous.

“Lez Out July.” How did you come up with the phrase? Where did that come from?

Well, there’s a number of answers to this question. I’ll give you the direct and the indirect answer.

Please.

The direct answer to this question was a tweet that I wrote, which went along the lines of “June was just warming up, but July is for lezzing out.” And then I started referring to “Lez Out July” as if it were a thing. Then some of my friends started referring to it as if it were a thing. Then people caught on and they were like, “I hear it’s Lez Out July.”

It was really shocking, because I had been shamelessly name-searching it because I’m so curious about where it’s gone, especially because it started with me and my friends. I’m largely T4T community, and that’s where I’m coming from. And a lot of presumably cis lesbians and cis lesbian communities and butch femme communities all got way in on this, and it kind of…

… spiraled.

I think it was just in the air.

It is just in the air.

I can’t claim credit for it. And as soon as I realized it was a thing, I was like, “I’m letting it go. I can’t claim credit for it. It’s in the air.”

That’s awesome.

But then I did start seeing people being like, “Oh, I’m failing at Lez Out July. I am dating a man.” Or, “Oh, I haven’t been able to talk to women” or whatever. And I began to take it seriously again, because I was like, “No, it’s not about something that you can fail. It’s just an imperative to really be brave and get out there and ask for what you want.”

There’s so much pressure on Pride itself. I feel like that’s been the ongoing conversation. It’s like, “Oh, I didn’t kiss anyone. I didn’t get anyone’s number during Pride.” Lez Out July is so funny and fun, but it’s also a reminder that it’s an ongoing thing to have pride, to be excited about your identity, and to live authentically.

As I talk, you’ll realize how sincere I actually am about this. I’m very earnest about it, and it really did come from this Pride season. This is my first Pride where rather than consuming or showing up, I was putting things on. I did a reading series in June, my friend Aster threw a party, and then my other friend threw another party. We were very emphatically building lesbian T4T community and I felt so thoroughly rewarded by the end of that Pride weekend. But as you’re saying, then there’s the [thought], “Oh, well, have I slept with anyone?”

I was thinking about how those two things connect: how I felt like I was putting a lot of energy into one column and I wanted to recognize maybe how the two were connected. Being gay is about having a sexuality and not being ashamed of it, which is I think what “lezzing out” is. I guess [the phrase] has origins in a sort of straight voyeuristic culture: It implies “lez out in front of a man.” It’s an activity that involves a perceiver. So I just wanted to say, “No, lezzing out is what you do when you set your alarm in the morning.” It’s a very personal continuous thing.

Some fun questions: Why July specifically?

Well, just because it was the day after Pride and I didn’t want Pride to end.

Exactly.

I think maybe Pride should be twice as long for lesbians.

Is it too late to start participating in Lez Out July?

No. July has what? “30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31.” You could start on July 31.

Yes.

It wouldn’t matter. Lez out. Just do it. Do it. It’s not about being; it’s about doing.

What are some tips and tricks for having a good Lez Out July?

Well, in a sensible and respectful way, being more transparent about what you want and about who you want. I played an improvised ad hoc game of competitive spin the bottle.

Love.

That was fun. It is worth being open with each other because, I don’t know, I think repression is a bad thing that a lot of people have? I have it. And so I think just countervailing that force is what it’s all about.

Why not “Dyke Out December”?

Because I think a lot of it is [about] momentum and the summer providing and opening people’s hearts to be in a particular mindset about their community. I’m going to turn this silly question into this serious thing. But [during] Pride, as far as I understand, a lot of people have a cycle where they’re cynical. They’re like, “Oh, this is stupid. I’m not going to go to the parades.” And then as soon as Pride’s over, they’re like, “This is the best. I love my people.” And I think it’s that energy that is what we’re running on in July.

As for December, I would like to see such thorough organization and stick-to-itiveness in the community that we could just cold-start the engine in December. But yeah, no, I’m dyked out year round, so...

I’m going to assume the answer to this is yes, but can you do both Lez Out July and Brat Summer or are they mutually exclusive?

I think that Lez Out July is an imperative to be on the ground and to interact with the world as it is. I think part of that does involve being uncynical about Brat Summer and not being like, “Oh, the joke is over. Oh, we’re past that already.” Because Charli XCX says that it’s only just begun.

“Brat summer is only just beginning.” Is there anything else that you feel you want to add? Any thoughts?

I would like to re-up my affirmation that T4T lesbianism is such a cool thing. And we could talk about the theoretical relationship between that [and] historical lesbianism, but we see what you’re doing. We love it, and we hope you see what we’re doing. We love it. I love all lesbians.

Thanks so much, Jules. Have a good rest of your Lez Out July.

You, too. Very much so. Good luck.

This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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