Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.
Woof, here we go. Or there Mercury goes, rather! Get ready to feel things, everyone. Dig in your fingernails and hold on tight! It’s going to be a bumpy ride all the way to Virgo Season.
The First Quarter Moon in Scorpio squares off against the Sun and kicks off a rising tide of emotions, amping up the intensity all week. Mars and Jupiter team up for a surge of expansive energy, and then retrograde Mercury smashes backwards from Virgo to Leo, encouraging everyone to start yelling about their frustrations. The Sun attempts to initiate healing in partnership with Chiron, which may or may not be effective depending on your sign’s surrounding activity. That well-intentioned attempt could actually lead to injury instead of recovery.
Running backwards, Mercury throws a punch at Uranus, which will definitely result in a surprising form of retaliation, and then the Sun steps forward to encourage Mercury’s bullshit, resulting in a zodiac-wide plague of delusional behavior. At the dawn of next week, Venus starts up romantic trouble with lucky Jupiter and responsible Saturn, and the Full Moon in Aquarius causes overwhelming emotional outbursts.
For this weekly horoscope, Leo leads the parade of pain, then we’ll progress through each sign until everyone’s doom has been decreed. If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Mars, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.
- Your ruler the Sun is in your sign.
- Moving perspectively retrograde, Mercury slides back from Virgo into your sign.
- The Sun creates a trine with Chiron and passes through conjunction with retrograde Mercury.
- Mercury squares off against Uranus.
Brace yourself for an epic, planetary-level backslide. Orbiting perspectively retrograde, Mercury ditches its own sign, Virgo, and slams screaming back into your space. Mercury’s retrograde direction continues to sow miscommunication, and when the smallest planet moves into your sign, misunderstandings rage up from repressed mutterings through clenched teeth to become loud, belligerent shouting. Then, your sign ruler the Sun creates an alliance with Chiron the centaur. Chiron rules healing and injury, and it is also retrograde at the moment, increasing the likelihood of painful accidents. Retrograde Mercury picks a fight with Uranus, ruler of weirdness, provoking an eruption of unexpected unpleasantness in your life, and then the Sun partners up with Mercury in a temporary flare of stubborn self-delusion.
Basically, it’s not looking good out there, y’all! I’d advise you to lay low until the danger has passed, but let’s be real: you’re much more likely to stomp out into the world and turn the woes of your week into everybody else’s problem.
- Venus is in your sign.
- Your ruler Mercury begins the week retrograde in your sign. Then, Mercury slides back out of your sign into Leo. In Leo, Mercury squares off against Uranus.
- The Sun passes through conjunction with retrograde Mercury.
- In the earliest hours of next week, Venus squares off against Jupiter and opposes Saturn.
Mercury’s retrograde reign of terror doesn’t end when it slides back out of your sign into Leo. Instead, Mercury retrograde’s signature miscommunications become even louder and more aggressive as your patron planet reacts to the fiery energy of Leo. The Sun, representative of the ego, teams up with angry, backwards Mercury in Leo, which will most likely result in absolutely legendary feats of self-delusion. To top it off, Mercury decides to aggravate oddball Uranus, inviting bizarre and nasty surprises into your life.
I regret to inform you that it doesn’t get much better next week, at least not right at the outset. Next Monday, Venus fights with lucky Jupiter and rejects responsible Saturn, sending shockwaves of chaos through the realm of desire and attraction. You’re likely to screw up at least one of your relationships pretty seriously. Fortunately, you love a good project, and hopefully you’ll be able to repair the damage over the course of your own season.
- Lilith and the South Node are in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Venus is in Virgo.
- In the earliest hours of next week, Venus squares off against Jupiter and opposes Saturn.
Along with everyone else in the zodiac, you’re at the mercy of Mercury retrograde in Leo. It ain’t great, but at least it’s not happening directly on top of you. You’re mostly at risk of bad outcomes because you’re still hosting the South Node (mopey) and Lilith (shady), both of which will encourage you to react dramatically to perceived slights that may or may not actually have anything to do with you.
Early next week things get dicey for you and Taurus when your sign ruler Venus starts shit with the ruler of luck and shuns the representative of responsibility. You run a high risk of raging into next Monday morning with a terribly unfortunate determination to tear down relationships you truly want.
- Your sign ruler Pluto is retrograde in Aquarius.
- The First Quarter Moon in your sign creates trines with Saturn and Neptune, squares off against the Sun, and opposes Uranus.
Before all of this Mercury retrograde in Leo melodrama runs rampant over everybody’s week, you’re dealing with First Quarter Moon feelings. This is a building phase, emotionally, and in this particular lunar cycle you feel a strong draw to get your emotional shit together. Give in to the urge and focus on setting your house in order! It might seem like strange timing, when social networks are scheduled to melt down all around you in the very next days, but you’re ultimately only in control of your own soul. Keep your proverbial eyes focused inward while misunderstanding plagues the whole zodiac, and you stand a decent chance of sailing through the turmoil as safely as possible.
- Your sign ruler Jupiter is in Gemini.
- Mars passes through conjunction with Jupiter.
- The waxing gibbous Moon in your sign forms a sextile with Pluto; squares off against Mercury, Venus, Saturn, and Neptune; opposes Jupiter and Mars; and creates trines with the Sun and Mercury.
- Early next week Jupiter squares off against Saturn.
You’ve got a fun (heh, “fun”) thing happening with the waxing gibbous Moon and Mercury in your sign. As you may have noticed, Mercury is currently orbiting perspectively retrograde. It begins the week in its own favorite earth sign, Virgo, then moonwalks backward into Leo. Mercury crosses the line while the Moon is in your sign, and it moves so fast that it manages to catch two different aspects from the Moon. First, your Moon dislikes Mercury — very relatable at the moment! But then you start feeling contrary after Mercury slides back to Leo, and perhaps even begin to enjoy the pandemonium unleashed by Mercury’s backwards movement. This might have something to do with the delightful burst of energy you’re enjoying by then. About nine hours before Mercury swaps signs, the action planet Mars unleashes a massive surge of motivation with your expansive sign ruler, Jupiter.
Next week, Jupiter will tempt you to blow off your obligations, but for now, you’re prepped to grab some popcorn and settle into one of the best seats in the house to watch this week’s disasters go down.
- Your sign ruler Saturn is retrograde in Pisces.
- Mars squares off against Saturn. Early next week, Jupiter also squares off against Saturn.
- The waxing gibbous Moon in your sign creates trines with Venus and Uranus and forms sextiles with Saturn and Neptune.
Mars and Jupiter are mad at your sign ruler Saturn, draining you of willpower and making you feel small and ineffectual. Pretty sucky timing happening there, while Mercury retrograde is gleefully sowing misunderstandings that seem to legitimize your gloomy suspicions. But in spite of all that, you enjoy a visit from the happiest lil’ Moon this week! In heart-swelling waxing gibbous phase, your Moon makes you feel positively optimistic about romance and possibility. You know you have the discipline you need to make your dreams come true! Hold on to that sense of hope when day-to-day drudgery threatens to grind you down.
- Pluto is retrograde in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Uranus is in Taurus.
- The waxing gibbous Moon in your sign passes through conjunction with Pluto and creates a trine with Jupiter.
- Early next week, the Full Moon in your sign creates a trine with Mars, opposes Mercury and the Sun, and squares off against Uranus.
You’re likely to make it through the worst of this week unscathed, but retrograde Mercury kicks off an explosion with your sign ruler, Uranus, just before next Monday’s Full Moon in your sign blazes to maximum brightness in defiance of the Sun. For the final week of Leo Season, you’re on fire with a sudden dissatisfaction that prompts an intense internal reckoning. Fortunately, the Moon’s weekend collaborations with Pluto and Jupiter, rulers of destruction/reconstruction and expansion, respectively, should lay some groundwork to help you figure out how to proceed.
- Saturn and your ruler Neptune are retrograde in your sign.
- Mars squares off against Saturn. Early next week, Jupiter also squares off against Saturn.
This ain’t a great time for organization and routines. Not that you should purposefully try to demolish your systems of order and regularity, of course! It’s just that several significant external forces are set up to break them down for you. Just keep on swimming. In time, the pieces will float back into reach and you’ll be able to make sense of your surroundings again.
Obligatory warning for Pisceans experiencing Mercury retrograde: Remember that others’ irrational outbursts of irritation usually don’t have anything to do with you, and quit trying to solve problems that you haven’t been invited to fix.
- Chiron and the North Node are retrograde in your sign. (The North Node is always generally retrograde.)
- Your sign ruler Mars is in Gemini.
- Mars passes through conjunction with Jupiter and squares off against Saturn.
- The Sun creates a trine with Chiron.
You aren’t faring so badly this week! Your ruler Mars is blowing up limitations with Jupiter, and the red planet’s disagreement with Saturn should light you up with enough obstinately disobedient energy to resist Mercury retrograde influence. The Sun joins forces with healing Chiron in your sign, and absent the immediate influence of Mercury’s disruption, you’ll probably be able to wrangle your way to recovery rather than falling prey to further damage. Try to remember to be patient with the other signs this week. They’re really going through it, and they’re not human-shaped bulldozers like you.
- Uranus is in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Venus is in Virgo.
- Mercury squares off against Uranus.
- In the earliest hours of next week, Venus squares off against Jupiter and opposes Saturn.
Your forecast isn’t disastrously awful, but it’s not good either. The astrological weather is gray, grin-and-bear-it grim in Taurus town. Near the week’s end, retrograde Mercury beefs with Uranus in your sign, and you may be surprised to find yourself in the position of doling out unexpected unpleasantries. (People like to talk shit about you out of the deluded assurance that you won’t stick up for yourself — what’s up with that? So sad for them.)
Things don’t get truly hairy for you until early next week, when your sign ruler Venus decides it’s time for a turn as the shit-starter. Be prepared to suffer conflicted, unwanted desires on Monday, and at least their arrival won’t surprise you.
- Mars and Jupiter are in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Mercury begins the week retrograde in Virgo. Then, Mercury slides back into Leo. In Leo, Mercury squares off against Uranus.
- Mars passes through conjunction with Jupiter and squares off against Saturn.
- The Sun passes through conjunction with retrograde Mercury.
- Early next week, Jupiter squares off against Saturn.
I’m noticing an interesting phenomenon during this Mercury retrograde: Gemini are being suspiciously quiet. It’s unsettling! Y’all aren’t necessarily extroverts, but you are usually yappers. It seems like this retrograde is shutting down at least some Gems’ urge to communicate entirely. Does this hold true for you?
If so, the streak might end this week when Mars and Jupiter blast you with a surge of energy, then your retrograde sign ruler Mercury waltzes sassily backwards into Leo. The Sun steps forward to encourage Mercury’s hubris, puffing up most of the zodiac — you included — with misplaced confidence that may lean to ruin. Then at the start of next week, Jupiter decides it’s time for everyone to spontaneously quit their jobs and run naked into the woods.
Best of luck with all of that! Try to avoid Leos and Virgos this week; y’all are especially combustible in combination right now.
- Your sign ruler the Moon travels through Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius.
- The First Quarter Moon in Scorpio squares off against the Sun.
- Early next week, the Full Moon in Aquarius opposes the Sun.
From the First Quarter to the Full phase of the Moon, your heart swells until it bursts open in a cathartic release of emotion. With all of the Mercury retrograde chaos swirling around you this week, you shouldn’t be short of reasons for feeling things! By the time the Full Moon arrives, you should set aside some time to let it all out in a safe environment. Otherwise, the shock waves of your explosion could level coworkers or loved ones who happen to be in the vicinity when the shell of your calm, collected surface finally cracks.
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