Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.
Hang in there, friends. Mercury retrograde is almost over! First, we just have to make it through a prickly Last Quarter Moon in Gemini and some drama from Venus in Virgo. But the finish line is in sight, and this weekly horoscope can help you lean across it.
Venus loves revolutionary Uranus this week — hello, romantic disruption! — and then opposes Neptune. Intuition, who? Venus doesn’t know her! The very last hour of Mercury retrograde is liable to be the most dangerous: Be extra careful about sudden impulsive urges for new haircuts, piercings, and flash tattoos. (If the compulsion lasts until Thursday, you’re safe to go for it, but please sleep on it first.) After Mercury turns direct, Venus jumps from Virgo to Libra and falls briefly in love with Pluto, initiating a major shift in desire. On Sunday, Uranus turns retrograde and relaxes its usual strangeness slightly, and Pluto slides retrograde away from Aquarius to spend a few months with Capricorn for the last time for the next 250 years.
We’ll begin this weekly horoscope with Virgo, then progress through each sign until everyone’s fate is foretold. If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Mars, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.
- The Sun is in your sign.
- Venus begins the week in your sign, where it creates a trine with Uranus and opposes Neptune. Then, Venus leaves your sign and moves to Libra.
- Your sign ruler Mercury begins the week retrograde in Leo. Then, Mercury turns direct!
- In the final moments of the week, the waning crescent Moon enters your sign.
Mercury retrograde is OVER! Well, almost. You still have a couple days’ opportunity to make unfathomable romantic decisions first. Within the very last hour of Mercury retrograde, actually, you run a high risk of making an impulsive, idealistic aesthetic choice that you will absolutely regret. If you experience a sudden urge to cut your hair, put the scissors down until at least Wednesday night, maybe Thursday just to be safe. On Thursday morning, fickle Venus sashays away to Libra and your emotions level back out to your usual degree of rationality. The end of the week is smooth sailing, carrying you easily toward the fresh beginning promised by next week’s New Moon.
- Lilith and the South Node are in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Venus begins the week in Virgo, where it creates a trine with Uranus and opposes Neptune. Then, Venus leaves Virgo and moves to your sign.
- In your sign, Venus creates a trine with Pluto.
Damn, Libra. Y’all are really in it at the moment! The South Node is some heavy shit. I never realized the impact of the South Node until it slammed retrograde — the direction the Nodes always generally travel — into my own Sun sign for most of 2022 and 2023. I truly sympathize now! The South Node is a lot, all of the time. Then on top of that, you’ve got Lilith, ruler of the psychological shadow, dragging you even deeper into the depths of your own mind. This situation has been your baseline for a long time now, and will be for even longer yet to come.
This week, your sign ruler Venus returns to your sign — hurray! Then, Venus decides it loves unpredictable weirdness, has never heard of the concept of intuition, and you know what else? Venus thinks it’s the perfect time to launch an enormous life change! Like…. LOL. WTF? I’m not quite sure how to predict exactly what’s about to happen with you, but it sure is coming at ya.
- Your sign ruler Pluto begins the week retrograde in Aquarius.
- Venus creates a trine with Pluto.
- On September 1, retrograde Pluto slides back from Aquarius to Capricorn.
This week, Venus shoots a meaningful glance at Pluto and dares it, "Bitch, make a move." In response, Pluto stares back steadily and actually does throw down some choreography! Maintaining proverbial eye contact with Venus, the dwarf planet of doom walks backwards out of Aquarius across the border into its old territory: Capricorn.
I myself am a Scorpio Sun, and we’re all kind of long-game people, you know? It’s tough to accurately envision the conclusion of a journey you’re still traveling, and I always see much more clearly in hindsight than the limited view I can make out while squinting at the foggy terrain ahead. I imagine this return of Pluto to Capricorn will feel comfortable, but also perhaps a smidge confining, like a beloved old shirt you’ve shrunk in the wash. We’ll all get a lot accomplished, but everything will feel just a bit too easy, perhaps to the point where it causes vague frustration. But, you know, boo-hoo, whatever. Some people — like Libra — have real problems right now! Scorpios will just be over here feeling slightly dissatisfied by our own excellence.
- Your sign ruler Jupiter is in Gemini.
I adore Sagittarians. Y’all are kind of living in your own separate dimension that occasionally intersects with everyone else’s shared reality. Recently, a beautiful blue-haired Sag asked me how old I am. I told her, and she declared that I seem young for my age “in a good way,” a distinction my creaky ancient elder Millennial ego greatly appreciated. Then, when I asked how old she is in return, she couldn’t remember. She eventually named a figure that genuinely qualifies as young, but I would not be surprised if she is actually immortal. My query must have caught her off guard; it probably just took her a moment to subtract a few thousand years before speaking.
Anyway! There’s not much specifically dictating your fate this week in the midst of your epic, incomprehensible life. Mercury retrograde ends, and everybody else chills out slightly.
- Your sign ruler Saturn is retrograde in Pisces.
- On September 1, retrograde Pluto slides back from Aquarius to your sign.
Time to fire up your favorite goth playlist! Death-obsessed dwarf planet Pluto is back, baby, and it's here to stay until the end of Scorpio Season! Your sign ruler Saturn doesn’t have shit to say about this development; it's busy drifting backwards, feeling its feelings, over in Pisces. Saturn is even wearing its own little pool floatie for the purpose, made of its own rings!
Jokes aside, you might be struck with an uncharacteristic wave of nostalgia, and/or a longing for old goals you have since altered or abandoned. Emulate Saturn and feel your feelings, but just keep floating. Try to enjoy this time for what it is: these are the last months you’ll host Pluto in your lifetime! (Unless you, like Sagittarius, are secretly immortal.)
- Pluto begins the week retrograde in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Uranus is in Taurus.
- Venus begins the week in Virgo, where it creates a trine with Uranus. Then, Venus moves to Libra, where it creates a trine with Pluto.
- On September 1, Uranus turns retrograde.
- Later in the evening of September 1, retrograde Pluto slides back from your sign to Capricorn.
Aquar-eee-usssssss!! Time for y’all to go sit with Libra and think some large, clumsy thoughts. You crave a huge change right now. The notion comes to you suddenly, so fully imagined you can almost taste it. Then, your revolutionary sign ruler Uranus turns retrograde, change-maker Pluto moves backwards right out of your sign, and you’re left to cradle your new dreams through a frustrating period of stagnancy. You’re fully capable of doing so, no doubt. Nothing motivates you quite like the difficult-to-impossible! It just sucks a bit that you don’t get to launch your fresh inspiration immediately at the very moment you dream up your latest idea.
- Saturn and your ruler Neptune are both retrograde in your sign.
- Venus opposes Neptune.
In the final hour of Mercury’s retrograde, Venus faces off with your sign ruler Neptune. This is a dangerous time. If you feel like cutting your hair, don’t. If you get an urge to send a risky text, wait! Will you heed this advice in the moment? Probably not! But then Mercury turns direct, and the next day Venus flits away from your sibling sign Virgo to Libra. You’ll be in decent shape to cope with the fallout of any hasty choices you make under the influence of Venusian provocation.
- Chiron and the North Node are retrograde in your sign. (The North Node is always generally retrograde.)
- Your sign ruler Mars is in Gemini.
This week, you’re happily ignored by most of the drama. You can go out of your way to make the messiness about you, if you really want. There’s certainly a chance that you might receive a wild message from another sign when Venus opposes Neptune on Wednesday. But it’s probably best to exhibit an aura of aloof wisdom and rise above the fray. You’re focused on your own future, not somebody else’s in-the-moment nonsense!
- Uranus is in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Venus begins the week in Virgo, where it creates a trine with Uranus and opposes Neptune. Then, Venus leaves Virgo and moves to Libra.
- In Libra, Venus creates a trine with Pluto.
- On September 1, Uranus turns retrograde.
Your ruler Venus is on a bit of a rampage this week. First, it gets lovey with Uranus, the oddball ruler of revolution. This is a good thing, probably, but also likely destabilizing. Then, when Venus opposes Neptune, you may pursue a fantasy that turns out to be false, or reject an illusion that is actually an ideal. If you can avoid acting hastily on Wednesday afternoon, you’re more likely to avoid unwanted outcomes.
Then, Venus flies away from Virgo to frolic with its favorite air sign, Libra. There, in gleeful conspiracy with Pluto, it decides to kick off an enormous change in your love life – not necessarily romance-focused, but a major overhaul in the realm of everything that you love.
In September, Uranus turns retrograde in your sign. This honestly won’t rattle its relationship with you very much. Uranus remains a deeply weird influence on you, even if its effects are somewhat muted during the next months.
- Mars and Jupiter are in your sign.
- The Last Quarter Moon in your sign squares off against the Sun, Saturn, Venus, and Neptune; passes through conjunction with Jupiter and Mars; and forms a sextile with Mercury.
- Your sign ruler Mercury begins the week retrograde in Leo. Then, Mercury turns direct!
It’s fortunate that lucky Jupiter is hanging out with you, beaming out a little bubble of relative safety around your person. The Last Quarter Moon moves through your sign in the last days of your ruler Mercury’s latest retrograde, and this Moon is looking a little sharp and stabby around the edges! The Moon is mad at the Sun, Saturn, Venus, and Neptune, representatives of the self, order, desire, and intuition, respectively. That hints that you’ll probably be mad at the same stuff. The Moon is cool with Mercury, but Mercury is acting distinctly un-chill at the time, so communication could be a little iffy, as well. Happily, Jupiter and Mars should help protect you from the consequences of your own feelings. Then on Wednesday afternoon, Mercury turns direct! At that point you can return to your schedule of regular, everyday Gemini chaos, rather than the present state of super-amplified, extra-intense emotional anarchy.
- Your sign ruler the Moon travels through Gemini, your sign, Leo, and Virgo.
- The Last Quarter Moon in Gemini squares off against the Sun.
- The waning crescent Moon in your sign forms sextiles with the Sun and Uranus, and creates trines with Saturn and Neptune.
The Last Quarter Moon in Gemini throws down a gauntlet of emotional difficulty during the last days of Mercury retrograde. Hold on tight! Mercury turns direct shortly after the waning crescent Moon travels home to your sign, and the latter half of the week proceeds happily. You’re scheduled for a boost of creativity, aided by a strong affinity for organization and reliable instinct. Don’t despair when upheaval reigns over the early week! You’ll be sitting pretty by the time Friday rolls around.
- Mercury begins the week retrograde in your sign. Then, Mercury turns direct!
- Your sign ruler the Sun is in Virgo.
- The Last Quarter Moon in Gemini squares off against the Sun.
- The waning crescent Moon in your sign opposes Pluto; forms sextiles with Venus, Jupiter, and Mars; passes through conjunction with Mercury, and squares off against Uranus.
The Last Quarter phase of the Moon always stabs you with a hint of dissatisfaction, an urge to resolve personal issues before the Moon fades down dark to the conclusion and fresh beginning of New phase. This season’s Last Quarter Moon in Gemini is no exception! Mercury is retrograde in your sign while it’s happening, though, so maybe just think about the changes you’d like to make and hold off on actually implementing them until Mercury turns direct on Wednesday.
The waning crescent Moon in your sign is pretty pleasant. It’s not inclined to participate in major life disruption, but should set you up with brilliantly harmonious communication skills to resolve any issues that may have cropped up during Mercury retrograde.
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