“A Way of Life For The Dolls Like Me”: The Demure TikTok Trend Is By and For Trans People

There was no end in sight for Brat summer: the beats were bumpin’, the poppers were flowing, and the remix of Charli XCX’s “Guess” featuring Billie Eilish had just dropped. That is, until trans social media creator Jools Lebron uttered the now iconic phrase “demure” on several viral TikToks that have since amassed millions of views — ushering us into a new season: Demure autumn.

Lebron’s TikToks feature her doing everyday activities: going to work, doing her makeup, and hitting blinkers. What makes them not-so-everyday is that she does so very mindfully and very demurely, making sure to remind her viewers at the end of each video.

“See how I come to work? Very mindful, very demure,” she says in her now-viral TikTok. “I do my make up. I lay my wig. I do a little braid. I flat iron my hair. I do chichis out. I do Viral Vanilla. Very demure, very mindful.”

For those of you who want to get to the core of what it means to be demure, it boils down to a vibe and essence. Being demure is all about embodying the word: being gentle, poised, and understated.

“Ladies, let’s be mindful when we come to work,” Lebron tells her viewers in another TikTok. “It’s not a fashion show but it’s not a soup kitchen.” Demure is putting on light foundation but not winged liner, blush but no green cut crease, and a little chichi, but not too much.

But sometimes demure is juxtaposed with objectively “undemure” activities like taking shots in airport bars and going hungover to CVS. Lebron explains the ironic humor behind demure to her followers as a satire of sincere TikToks policing women on being classy and “mindful” as to why they were invited to the section. There’s a tongue-in-cheek levity to Lebron telling her viewers how to be demure. Her point is that anything you say is demure, or can be demure. That’s the beauty of it.

It’s no surprise that such innovation, irony, and subtext could only come from the likes of a transfemme influencer. Lebron, much like internet dolls Devin Halbal, Selyna Brillare, or Blizzy McGuire, has reached far beyond TikTok itself in this current viral flashpoint. And despite some controversy about who started the trend first, this is undoubtedly a moment for the dolls to finally get their long-deserved flowers in cultural creation and ingenuity.

“Demure is just a way of life for the girls and for the dolls like me,” Lebron says in a TikTok. “Who is the original demure? All of us.”

Demure is the moment. To pay homage to the genius of demure, we put together a very mindful list of our favorite DemureTok videos from queer creators. While this is far from a comprehensive catalogue, consider this our love letter to demurity and mindfulness.

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