Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.
This week will probably sort of suck, but we’re going to try to feel cheerful about it anyway! Some forthcoming acts of destruction will serve to clear the way for a big, bold new beginning.
First, Mercury teams up with Chiron to kick off some much-needed healing. Then, the New Moon in Virgo knocks down most of the pieces on the board to facilitate a fresh start. Venus initiates the new era with some dangerous behavior: In close conspiracy with shadow ruler Lilith, Venus defies the call of the future to pursue old bad habits instead. During mid-week, plan to dress for villainy! Afterward, nobody wants to investigate those impulses too closely. Mercury picks a fight with Uranus to avoid the threat of new insight. Then finally, we all take a rest day to relax from the drama when the Sun blows off responsibility in opposition to Saturn.
Virgo kicks off our weekly horoscope, then each sign takes a turn until everyone’s fate has been discussed. If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Mars, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.
- The Sun is in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Mercury is in Leo.
- The New Moon in your sign passes through conjunction with the Sun, opposes Saturn and Neptune, squares off against Jupiter and Mars, and creates trines with Uranus and Pluto.
- Mercury creates a trine with Chiron and squares off against Uranus.
- The Sun opposes Saturn.
This week’s New Moon heralds a seriously disruptive beginning. It might seem all wrong. It may be all right! It will probably feel good in that nihilism-morphs-into-hedonism-because-why-not kind of way, while the blaze of burning bridges is warming your skin. It will probably then feel slightly less awesome in the aftermath, when a formerly cherished life structure is reduced to a pile of cold ashes. Whatever! What’s done is done, and you had your reasons; you can go on to regret your methods at leisure.
Your tyrannical boss planet Mercury has you engaged in a serious conversation about the kind of life change required for healing, followed by an intense sense of reluctance to confront it. Clear Sunday’s schedule for rest and/or shenanigans. If forced to engage in productivity, you’ll be tempted to complicate the process “accidentally” (but actually kind of on purpose) out of spite.
- Lilith, the South Node, and your ruler Venus are in your sign.
- Venus passes through conjunction with Lilith, then passes through conjunction with the South Node (opposing the North Node).
- The South Node passes through conjunction with Lilith.
- The waxing crescent Moon in your sign passes through conjunction with Venus, creates a trine with Jupiter, forms a sextile with Mercury, and squares off against Pluto.
Y’all are in your Hellraiser era — not necessarily in the pain-worshiping, leather-clad Cenobite sense, but in the dark urge to seduce and sacrifice strangers in attempt to reclaim a perversely compelling old hook-up from a torture dimension while torching your own happy life kind of way, perhaps while sporting aggressive shoulder pads! (Clive Barker is a Libra; he understands things.) Your domineering ruler Venus is in your sign, joining forces with shadow ruler Lilith and the South Node of the past. You don’t want to move forward right now, and you have extraordinary powers of charisma to deploy in service of delving back into some of your all-time worst decisions. You might really manage some damage, and even enjoy the doing during the moment! Might as well dress for the occasion and wear your most fabulous villain outfits this week.
- Your sign ruler Pluto is retrograde in Capricorn.
- The waxing crescent Moon in your sign creates trines with Mars and Saturn and forms a sextile with the Sun.
Pluto’s new/old retrograde move to Capricorn has you feeling pensive. (Damn, you were going for thoughtful.) No worries; it’s a good look on you! And besides, you’ve got almost three months ahead of you to mope and ruminate on unfinished business. Over the weekend, the Moon supplies you with constructive emotional energy to pour into productive introspection.
- Your sign ruler Jupiter is in Gemini.
What the hell are y’all up to now?! I get nervous when the collective Sagittarian crew all goes quiet at the same time. Your silence often presages a massive outbreak of pandemonium.
I’m trying to play my Baldur’s Gate 3 barbarian Tav as a Sagittarius, but completionist tendencies occasionally interfere with my intention. In the Rosymorn Monastery, for instance, I carefully placed all of the ceremonial weapons on their proper pedestals to gain the Dawnmaster’s Crest instead of just having Astarion lockpick the gate blocking access to the protective relic. Or I could have simply broken into the secret chamber to snatch the Blood of Lathander and fled while the mountainside exploded, only to laugh at Astarion’s indignance over my lack of caution for the potential end of his long un-life after having Withers resurrect him later. (Having Astarion around at all sort of borks my Sag barbarian steeze in the first place, as my character would have definitely stabbed him at camp early on had I not omnisciently commanded her to refrain in order to keep a rogue around for theieving.) Not the purest roleplaying on my part! Regardless, Rage: Wild Magic is definitely a Sagittarian bonus action.
- Pluto is retrograde in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Saturn is retrograde in Pisces.
- The Sun opposes Saturn.
This week low-key sucks for you. Pluto has returned to your sign to cast a chill pall of fatalism over everything. Your own sign ruler Saturn is flaking off, floating backwards along the lazy river of Pisces with its eyes closed and ignoring your pleas to get its shit together and help you voraciously pursue your ambitions as usual. Then, on the last day of the week, the Sun is like, “Ew, how sad, look at Saturn drifting around aimlessly not doing anything!” and sends you into a crisis of self-perception. Ironically enough, your newly returned Plutonic gloom will probably help you navigate this self-questioning mood more gracefully than you otherwise might. Slap on a deadpan facial expression and cope.
- Your sign ruler Uranus is retrograde in Taurus.
- Mercury squares off against Uranus.
Your week also low-key kind of sucks. Your sign ruler Uranus wonders, “Why do any of us do anything, really? What is the purpose?” for several days. Then, rabble-rousing Mercury decides to contribute to the scenario by screaming, “Hey Uranus, everybody thinks you’re a weird loser!” across the zodiac from its place in Leo just to start some shit and, I don’t know, make everybody feel alive or something. Seems irritating to me, but I suppose nothing focuses your attention quite like an acute annoyance you can’t immediately quash.
- Saturn and your ruler Neptune are both retrograde in your sign.
- Mars squares off against Neptune.
- The Sun opposes Saturn.
And your week also low-key kind of sucks! Along with Capricorn and Aquarius, you’re really on a roll! You’re sapped of energy when Mars takes umbrage at your ruler Neptune in your sign. Then the Sun pipes up to glare disdainfully in your direction and declare, “Wow, has anyone noticed that Saturn is looking kind of sad and raggedy lately?” and your self-worth (understandably!) takes a shallow dive. Oh well! The highs of life wouldn’t feel as glorious if there weren’t some lows in between. In the meantime, wallow in your temporary sense of discontent.
- Chiron and the North Node are retrograde in your sign. (The North Node is always generally retrograde, that’s normal.)
- Mercury creates a trine with Chiron.
- Your sign ruler Mars begins the week in Gemini, where it squares off against Neptune. Then, Mars leaves Gemini and moves to Cancer.
- Venus opposes the North Node.
- The North Node opposes Lilith.
You start the week on a healing note with an important conversation. Then, life gets, um, a little more interesting. Your sign ruler Mars aims two middle fingers and a stuck-out tongue at the representative of intuition, then takes a deep dive over the border from airy Gemini into the immense emotional ocean of Cancer. Venus, the arbiter of desire, suddenly despises the aspirational future promised by the North Node in your sign, while the North Node stands in noble defiance of Venus’s new best buddy — shadow ruler Lilith. If anybody has a hope of slowing Virgo, Libra, and Taurus’s reign of destruction this week, it’s you. Not that you’ll succeed in the attempt, in spite of your best efforts, but you might be able to soften the oncoming damage slightly.
- Uranus is retrograde in your sign.
- Your sign ruler Venus is in Libra.
- Venus passes through conjunction with Lilith, then opposes the North Node.
- Mercury squares off against Uranus.
Dark desires arise in your heart, keeping you focused on familiar bad habits from your past. Might as well dress for the moment — wear something alluring on Wednesday to honor your them fatale mood. Later in the week, after whatever you did is done, you don’t want to talk about it. Mercury is not interested in being interrogated by insightful Uranus. Even if it might benefit you to discuss your motives, you’re more likely to smile mysteriously and stonewall any inquiry into your externally baffling behavior.
- Jupiter is in your sign.
- Mars begins the week in your sign, where it squares off against Neptune. Then, Mars leaves your sign and moves to Cancer.
- Your sign ruler Mercury is in Leo.
- Mercury creates a trine with Chiron and squares off against Uranus.
Your week opens with a mission to achieve healing. It won’t be easy, however! Your motivations clash with your sense of idealism, and you run low on energy when Mars departs your sign for Cancer. Then, you struggle to make headway in conversation. No matter how much you talk at and around the issue, the spark of true discovery eludes you. Keep trying anyway. You’re a pretty determined personality, and unlikely to grow tired of yapping about problems that resist investigation.
- Your sign ruler the Moon travels through Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio.
- The New Moon in Virgo passes through conjunction with the Sun.
- Mars leaves Gemini and moves to your sign.
Huge, gnarly life beginnings are incoming with this season’s New Moon! Prepare to feel almost betrayed by your current, relatively innocent understanding of the world — that’s how much your perspective might shift over the course of the Moon’s passage through Virgo. Then, fiery Mars launches over the fence from Gemini into your sign and passively sets your spirit to boiling. Your softer emotions are temporarily distant while the Moon travels to its furthest point of orbit away from the Earth.
I mentioned above that I’ve finally started playing Baldur’s Gate 3. Y’all, this game is long, and my time of late has been limited! Perhaps I will eventually be able to deliver the definitive “The Signs as BG3 Party Members” article when I eventually finish my first playthrough in another two and a half years. That said! An icky bout of illness and a resultant need to isolate from IRL humans has recently carried me much closer to the end of Act 1, and I am beginning to suspect that my girlfriend Shadowheart might be a Cancer Sun sign. I will keep you posted as evidence continues to unfold.
- Mercury is in your sign.
- Your sign ruler the Sun is in Virgo.
- The New Moon in Virgo passes through conjunction with the Sun.
- Mercury creates a trine with Chiron and squares off against Uranus.
- The Sun opposes Saturn.
You’re feeling highly attuned to healing, but not so keen on facilitating conversation to make it happen. Take some time alone to let your thoughts coalesce within the privacy of your own mind before speaking on the matter, and try to enjoy your last week with Mercury before it moves on to Virgo. Clear your schedule for laziness over the weekend, if possible. Responsibility will be far, far out of your reach on Sunday.
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